I feel so sad thinking about my child going to daycare and spending time away from me all day. How will he be able to communicate his needs? Will the care-givers understand him? Will he eat? Will he sleep without his usual comfy routine at home? Will he ask for me and cry all day?
If you’re a first-time parent putting your kid in childcare, these thoughts and questions are totally normal. I experienced all of these emotions too when I first went to put my daughter in daycare. Here is how I got comfortable and wound up having three kids going to daycare :D
My Experience with Childcare
My First Child’s First Day
I still remember my eldest daughter’s first day at daycare. I stayed with her at the daycare for half an hour and when she was busy exploring all the new toys, I quietly tip-toed out the door. I drove back home with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I imagined her turning around to look for me and realizing I wasn’t there. “She’ll be confused, crying, screaming… How cruel of me!!”
For the next little while, I kept calling her class teacher every 15 to 20 minutes to ask how she was doing. “She is crying on and off, but don’t worry, we’ve got this! She’ll be fine!” Still crying??? I just wanted to drive back and pick her up already. Eventually they said that she ate some snacks and went down for a nap. I felt relieved to hear that but also totally heartbroken. Poor baby! I ended up going back sooner than I had planned and brought her back home.
Over the next couple of weeks, things got much, much better. She did cry a little at drop-offs but quieted down quickly afterwards. By the third week, there was no crying. In fact, it seemed like she looked forward to going because she had gotten to know the teachers, made some new friends and fallen into a new routine. That made it so much easier. I kept her at the same daycare center for the next 2.5 years until she went to Junior Kindergarten at school! I won’t say things were always perfect during her time at daycare, but it was a great arrangement that allowed me to work full-time and complete the CPA designation that I was pursuing at the time.
How I Got Comfortable
I am now a daycare veteran lol! I’ve sent two more of my kids to daycare. Things were a lot easier for me emotionally when I sent them. I know that most (not all) kids eventually like daycare, even if they resist and cry at the beginning. It’s similar to how kids eventually get used to full-time school, even if they hate Kindergarten at first. They learn, socialize, do fun arts and crafts on a daily basis, and get daily fresh air through outdoor time (weather permitting). The childcare providers are trained and experienced, so they are great at dealing with children, learning their cues and setting routines for them.
Hopefully this gives you some confidence to go ahead with daycare if you’re on the fence.
Childcare Costs
With the current inflation, many parents are feeling the need to return to the workplace. The daycare costs in Toronto for a toddler are close to $1600 per month on average right now (2023), so it is a big financial decision. Understanding childcare options and making an informed decision is very important.
As of March, 2022, Ontario signed onto the Canada-Wide Early Learning and Child Care (CWELCC) Agreement, which aims to reduce child care fees for families. By the end of 2025, the fees are expected to come down to $10/day everywhere in Canada, which will amount to just $200 a month for full-time childcare. At one point, I used to pay over $1400 per month for my daughter’s daycare, so that should give you an idea of the difference this is making. So many parents are now able to work and afford childcare.
Childcare Options
I live in Ontario so will talk about the options available in my province, but I believe they are quire similar all over Canada. Here are some of the common types of childcare options we have:
- Licensed Childcare Centers: These are regulated facilities that provide care and education for children in a group setting. They are typically operated by organizations or agencies and offer full-day or part-day programs for children of different age groups.
- Licensed Home Child Care: This option involves childcare provided in a home-based setting by an individual who is licensed by a licensed home child care agency. Licensed home childcare providers usually care for a smaller number of children in a home-like environment.
- Before and After School Programs: These programs cater to school-age children and provide care and supervision before and after school hours. They are often offered within schools or in community centers and focus on providing a safe and engaging environment for children during these times.
- Nursery Schools/Preschools: These programs are typically geared towards younger children, usually aged 2 to 4 years. They offer part-time care and early learning opportunities through structured activities and play-based curriculum.
- Nanny or Home-Based Care: Families may choose to hire a nanny or caregiver to provide childcare within their own home. This arrangement offers personalized care and flexibility, as the caregiver focuses solely on the needs of the child or children in that specific household.
I have personally utilized Childcare Centres, Home Childcare, and Before & After School programs, so I will go into more details for these and share my personal experience too.
1. Licensed Childcare/Daycare Centres
My eldest daughter went to a daycare centre.
Daycare centres are a stable and reliable form of childcare. Regardless of the caregivers being sick or away on vacation, the daycare centre will be open and ready to take your child in for the day. Of course, such consistency is not possible when your child stays with grandma, or your neighbour aunty… The Centers are inspected by government officials, caregivers are supervised by a director who remains on-site, and classrooms are large, and well-lit. Moreover, most staff members have ECE (Early Childhood Education) diplomas which means they are well-qualified for the job.
Daycare Centre programs combine children of similar age groups together, which makes it fun and engaging for the kids. They offer a structured daily program which gets kids into a nice routine. There are lots of kids, so your child will hopefully find a friend or two to get along with. There are often multiple teachers in a classroom as well, which also increases the chance of your child bonding with one. Having more than one teacher in a classroom is also good as there are multiple sets of eyes on the kids.
Most daycare centres have a chef that cooks fresh food on-site. Weekly menus are posted. They take the kids out for fresh air on an almost daily basis. Many daycare centres have a little outdoor park area with slides, little toy cars that kids can ride etc. which is fun. They have a lot of resources so they also organize special activity days to keep things interesting for the kids. You get daily email updates about your child’s day – what they ate, what activities they did, along with a picture.
Having said all that, it can be overwhelming for a young child to go into a place where there are so many kids and lots of unfamiliar adult faces. Your child is more likely to catch illnesses too because they are exposed to a lot of germs due to a large number of kids in the building. This is really hard to deal with especially if you’re just starting out working after maternity leave, for example. You often end up keeping your sick child at home, taking a day off from work, all while still continuing to pay for the fixed daycare costs.
Daycare centres can feel a bit like school as well. There are always lots of emails coming in, pyjamas days, outdoor activity days etc. While this is great, for me it was sometimes too overwhelming to keep track of.
Personally, I used to really dislike the pick-up and drop-off process at the Daycare centre my daughter went to. There were literally hundreds of cars coming in & out of the centre’s driveway and parking lot. This may not be the case for all daycare centres but is definitely something to consider for big, busy centres. You have to park, go inside the centre, walk to your child’s classroom, take off / put on their jacket etc and then leave. Of course, this happened during rush hour so there was pressure to be as fast and efficient as possible while navigating all that traffic. This process would take us a good 15 minutes which is a lot during rush hour.
Daycare centres are also very expensive (close to $1600 on average for a toddler in Toronto as of 2023), however, if a centre opted into the new CWELCC agreement, then the fees should currently be half of what they used to be. Reach out to your local centres for more details on the pricing.
2. Licensed Home-Based Child Care
My son went to a home-based daycare and now my youngest goes to the same caregiver.
Home Based Care is done within a home as the name suggests. The care providers work under contract with an Agency. Every Home Care Agency must be licensed by the Ministry of Education. They are obligated to adhere to government regulations which promote the health, safety and well-being of the children and families enrolled in their program. The Agency visits the provider’s home at least once every three months and regularly reviews nutrition, activities and health & safety standards. There are Supervisors who visit every month as well. They also provide ongoing guidance, resources and training to help the providers meet the needs of children in their care and also keep in touch with the parents.
A home child care provider can care for a maximum of six children under the age of 13. This is much better than daycare centres when it comes to catching germs and getting sick. They are also less expensive than daycare centres. The morning drop-off and evening pick-up process is also a breeze as compared to that of a daycare centre. Since it’s a house, you are most likely going into a residential street, parking on a driveway or street and dropping your child off straight into the hands of the provider at the door – takes less than 5 minutes. Communication with your child’s care provider is also easier as you see them every day. You can directly and quickly reach them via phone or text.
It is a smaller, more “homey” environment with couches, a kitchen, a backyard etc – all the things that houses have. This is less overwhelming especially for young toddlers or kids who are more introverted. It also seems that home-based providers do not take the children out as often as daycare centres too. For me, this was a plus because it is often too cold here and this prevents them from getting sick. In the summer time, they do take the kids out to the backyard more easily for water play and other activities. The providers usually have some play toys and small slides too. A supervisor from the Agency who visits the home once every month sends you a report about your child and how they are doing. Similar to daycare centres, home-based daycares follow a structured program that get your kid into a nice routine.
Having said all that, there are some things to consider. There is usually not a lot of space inside homes, which means it can feel a bit cramped. The home-like environment also means that the caregiver’s family can be around or going in and out. This can feel uncomfortable considering the provider cannot fully separate their personal life from their work life. Your child might see or interact with someone other than the provider. We did pay attention to this point when seeing multiple houses and asked who else the caregiver lived with and what their daily schedules were like.
If the teacher gets sick or goes on a vacation, you no longer have anyone to drop your child to. The Agency helps you find another provider’s home where your child can go temporarily. However, it is definitely a change (although sometimes kids can like this change too as they meet new kids and play with new toys etc). When a caregiver is going on vacation, you get an advance notice about this. If the caregiver gets sick, it is of course a sudden occurrence and that can throw you off.
While you do have ongoing communication with the child’s caregiver, you don’t automatically get daily updates. Sometimes I do wish to know about the times my child napped or what exactly they ate. I can always text and ask the caregiver but the daily information is not readily available as is the case with daycare centres.
Lastly, since there are only 6 kids, your child may or may not have fun in a home-based centre. My son had an amazing time at the home daycare for his first 1.5 years there. This was because there were kids his age + a couple of kids that were older. He enjoyed playing with them and learned a lot from them. However, the older kids turned 4 and went to school, leaving my son with only one other child his age. The remaining four kids were between 18 months to 2 years of age. Eventually he got very bored and would give me a hard time about going to daycare every morning. I ended up taking him out in the summer anyway since I was home on maternity leave. But I do think that having peers your child can play with helps.
To register, you first reach out to the Agency. Google “Home-Based daycare providers in my area.” When you’re in touch, they learn about your needs and preferences, and let you know of providers within your area. You then visit the providers’ houses, meet with them and ask questions, and choose someone that you like. Alternatively, you can post in a local facebook group asking for home-based childcare providers in your area. Sometimes your friends/neighbours can refer you to providers they know in their area.
I selected home-based care over a daycare centre for my younger two kids because of the overall simplicity. There was a lot of cost saving as well which was very attractive, especially before the new government program. Most importantly, I really liked the care provider. She had 10+ years of experience, checked all the boxes, and bonded well with my son even on the first day we met.
3. Nursery and Pre-school
